Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I don't heart an indie crush
I saw this guide on how to make a Cera film this morning and thought it was too golden not to share. I recently watched Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and totally fell in love. Again. I've been a Cera fan for quite a few years now, since stumbling across him as Jason Bateman's awkward teenage son, George-Michael, in Arrested Development. He is my most favourite indie-crush. Yes, he plays exactly the same character in every movie so far but his strange sing-song slash monotone voice (how can those things happen simultaneously? I don't know, put it down to Cera genius), gangly physique and casual expressions make my heart flutter.
Once my latest Cera-fest was over, this of course led to some late night Cera-youtube stalking and I suddenly broke into a cold sweat when I stumbled upon 'Michael Cera losing it'. He's on the set of Youth Revolt and freaking out, from what I can gather, about someone leaving a note on his trailer door about him being uptight. It's super awkward, super scary and Superbad! (sorry)
Could my indie dream-beau be an indie-asshole? Surely not. I scrolled through pages of what I thought was my cute and quirky lover only to find another scene of him with Katherine Heigl doing a scene for Knocked Up where Cera, again, loses it at the director. It's most unflattering and jolted judgements in me I thought I'd never had. I found myself justifying to myself his long work hours and terrible conditions. I've heard rumors that these scenes were set ups and not real and from that I took great relief. But a little part of me just can't shut out those tantrums, my mind wanders back to him pacing and yelling on a film set and crew trying to assure him that he's well-liked. I feel violated that my super-crush could be capable of these childlike outbursts and let me tell you, there's no one to blame but technology. What happened to the days of being able to obsess from afar and have nothing taint that obsession? To being able to throw around grand, wild statements like 'I bet he's a sweetheart, and would treat me like a queen'. To making up conversations in your head with you and said indie-crush where you get on perfectly and are both into sudoku? Youtube. That's what happened. Twitter, that's also what happened. Celebrities are showing their true colours all over the place and I don't like it one bit. My imaginary worlds are being rudely interrupted by a harsh slap of reality. And it stings. Celebs should get out of these media forms and stay firmly where they belong: in plebs' fantasies. After all, who wants to know that these people do normal things and fuck up just like the rest of us? I know for certain that my indie-crush doesn't use the bathroom, or clip his toenails and he never throws tantys. Ever.