I shouldn't have discounted my initial feelings of losing sleep over what to say. Maybe then I wouldn't have ended up tongue-tied and lost for words.
I decided, on the day, that if I couldn't think of anything cool to say, then the best thing to say would be nothing at all. I thought that was a good plan. I thought BEE would would be moody, brooding and wear sunglasses throughout his Q&A. How wrong I was. And his wit, up-beatness, love for Delta Goodrem and the theme from Tarzan made me love him even more. With great insight into the time he shared an elevator ride with Tom Cruise, to how Elvis Costello hated on him in Rolling Stone causing a moment 'when you're cut down by your idol, in public, at 22, there's a moment there.' to how YA is really hot right now and his publishers are pushing him to write Patrick Bateman 'The Teen Years' it made for the most entertaining, intriguing few hours of my year to date.
The Art Factory was packed. I had a clear plan. Hang towards the back, near the door, when the host was thanking BEE and wrapping up, run for the book table line. And it worked. For once, I had a clear tunnel where I could see straight through the crowd (as opposed to staring at shoulders), it was perfectly silent and questions from the fishbowl made things run along smoothly i.e. 'Are you a top or a bottom?' to which he laughed off and said 'I'm versitle.'
He said he came to Australia because all his hot, drunk L.A friends always say 'You gotta go to Australia man, everyone's really good-looking and they like to drink a lot.' So far he thinks they're right.
So finally the mc was wrapping up and I bolted dragging my girlfriend with me to near enough to the front of the line. We got post-it notes with our name on them. It was two books per person. She got our other friend's name on her post-it cos Bridget's in Mexico. I was freaking out in the line, school girl style, fixing my hair, asking if my hair looked alright (no really is it ok? Or are you just saying that?) I was fiddling with the camera,putting the case away, pulling the case out again until finally we got to the front of the line and there it was, my moment had finally arrived. And I appeared to be WASTING it being silent and coy. So i launched into some heavy word vomit that went something kinda like this:
'It's real good of you doing this, thanks heaps for coming out. Sorry about the covers, the movie ones ended up being cheaper than the originals.'
Meanwhile he was talking about how great everything was and how he was so nervous and felt like he was in a comedy club as opposed to a book launch. He then grabbed Danni's books and smiled when he said 'Bridget?'
'I'm not Bridget.'
Silence.
That's all she said. She may as well have said:
'I'm not really here for you, just came with a friend. No, none for me thanks.'
I jumped up on the stage and barked:
'Bridget's in Mexico and couldn't be here, but she loves ya heaps!'
And I threw my arm around him and smiled awkwardly, half in shock half embarrassed that I'd invaded his personal space while Danni freaked out and didn't remember how to use my camera.
I should have made him a zine. He was totally cool and would have totally taken in, even if to only scan it briefly and throw it away, he would have looked at it. We could have been friends. I've found out today, via twitter, that he's a John Mayer fan. Had I done my research, we could've bonded over a common crush.
Instead I held his hand and thanked him and wished him the best time here in Sydney...LAME!
Not even 'love ya work' nothing.
Sigh. It was pretty amazing though. I got three of my favourite books signed, and I'm pretty sure he signed them 'To Kate, Best Girl Bret Easton Ellis' my friends are convinced it says 'Best Wishes' but I think I know what Bret Easton Ellis signed in my own books.
love,
a totally star-struck, tongue-tied
cactus
P.S how frightened slash nervous slash ecstatic do I look in that pic?
P.P.S People are afraid to merge on freeways in Los Angeles
P.P.P.S They made a movie about us
