Sunday, December 13, 2009
Tis the season ...
To be getting way too trashed at Christmas parties. What is it about cheap champagne and a new frock that makes one giddy with silliness?
I wish I'd thought of these before I attended my own work party. If I had, I may not have felt that hot flush of shame as
I pressed the elevator button the next day. And so I felt it my obligation to share some handy hints about surviving the
silly season at work.
Steer clear of beige's/whites/creams/baby-blues. Sad but true, you'll probably be wearing someones drink later on in the night and the last thing you want is an obvious stain all down the front of your fabulous ensemble.
Karaoke, under any circumstances, is never a good idea
Don't talk work talk, challenge your boss to a sculling competition or think that this is the best setting ever to tell your office crush how you really feel. The market's still tough so chances are you'll have to hold onto your job, and share carpet with these people for the next few months. At least.
Only do the running man if you can can, And only if your work mates already like you.
If you're stuck in a boring convo (i.e. 'And then I said to Georgie my goodness you've gotten tall, and she really had, she's at least three feet taller than when I last saw her. They grow up so fast, don't they darling.') quickly offer to get some more drinks but leave before they've had the chance to answer and never return.
No one cares that you're considering swapping sides to Team Jacob after seeing some very pecksuasive evidence recently.
I found this out the hard way.
If you do peak too early and need to bail before dark, cop it sweet and don't call out 'I used to be fun. I swear!' to the happening party as you're bestie holds your hiccuping arse up, hailing a cab at the same time. If you do need to bail, backdoor it. It's the only dignified way to go.
Shots=the end of your night. As if you're not drunk enough already.
Even if you remember one of these you will have one less thing to cringe at the morning after. Cos I guarantee there's always one perky girl with a camera who somehow had the hand/eye coordination to snap away the for the entire party, and facebook is her best friend. Untagging won't save you now. Go, be merry and drink your company for all their worth.
Have you got any tips to add to the list?