While I sit here in my deathly quiet house, soaking up the calm before I enter the undoubtedly huge storm that will be the streets of Sydney in just a few hours, I find myself asking the question: what have you done this year? Answer: a whole lot of nothing in between a few huge moments. Mexico is the main thing that comes to mind. I flew halfway across the world to land in the unknown and straight into the arms of a beloved, to see the life she was creating for herself and the people that now filled it. The only way I can think about Mexico and still be happy in my own life is if I think of it as a distant dream that was incredibly vivid and beautiful whilst I was inside it. I held another friend's hand as she let go of her childhood sweetheart and opened her heart for someone who could very well be the love of her life. I wrote some really good songs with a really cool guy who left me for London town calling his name home. I envied a friend who went back to uni and contemplated the idea that more study and debt was definitely the answer for the question I still can't quite articulate. I watched my brother love the same girl for the fourth year in a row, even though she was an ocean away and found myself uncharacteristically craving him to take the plunge and make some good old fashioned vows. I reconnected with two very special guys who are in some way the bookends to my life. I lived solo for a month while my love fell into a black hole in Vegas and did my best to sound supportive on the other end of the line. And most importantly, I arrived at a hair peak. Thank god for gay male hairdressers.
I'd like to say I have a fabulous new year's resolution, but it's the same story it is every year. Walk more, sing more, play more.
Maybe I should resolve to do something incredibly simple, like wear more lipstick or stop biting my nails. Or maybe I could finally realise that resolutions are bullshit. I hardly know anyone that keeps these empty promised made to oneself at the strike of midnight. Cheers darling.
I'm gonna get in early. Happy New Year kids. Hope it's a doozy.
What's in store for 2010?
cactus
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Great post. I appreciate your stance on the matter. Resolutions are overrated. Happy new year, Cactus :)
ReplyDeleteRight back at ya. Forgot to add 'here's to new blog buddies!'
ReplyDeleteMi hermana mexicana, your footprints are still in the sand you left behind. You did a whole lot of good this side of the globe. You taught me "there's a lot of laughter to be had out there" ... inspired hombres to shout "Mexican Power" and lit up Platinee's rock and roll shouts. You made a silver woman with child bearing thighs in an art class whose teacher still professes "que bonita" at the mention of your name.
ReplyDeleteAgreed on the resolution front. Perhaps I should quit smoking for the 12th year? Am I that old? Oh no ...
oh we need a bridge so I can just walk back on over there. I miss it. It was ever so brief, but completely enchanting. Take me with you!
ReplyDeleteI'm in my mid-twenties this year....MID-TWENTIES!
MATE, I am closing in on THIRTY! Past the half-way mark, she's taking your digits, she's running the distance, she's LOSING speed, because she's all alone, all alone ... that song is in my head now.
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